In Pursuit of Happiness

Often we go to extreme extents to fulfill our wishes, we cross all the limits to get what we want, we lie, we cheat ,we steal and we kill in return of a bad conscious and a heavy heart. Sadly enough, after doing all the above the happiness stays miles away from us, our never ending search continues because we fail to understand happiness is not a place but a road.
Just for the heck of it, I looked up Happiness on Wikipedia. Wiki is a good to get started but watch out for the bullshit information since there is plenty. Anyway, so Wikipedia describes happiness as follows (A mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment of intense joy). At least one thing I am sure of that its only a state of mind and nothing real really :) or at least that's what i'd like to think.
If we just stop trying to be happy, we might just be happy since it's only a state of mind in other words non-existing. Many of my friends are living with the assumption that happiness is a synonym of wealth, well I have seen this theory gone haywire more than a strung out gambler loosing in gambling. Some have suggested happiness is in love, yes love which is nothing more than a dying moan of a distant violin. What is happiness, I fail to delineate. The only time I was in "the mental state of well being characterized by positive emotions" is either when I lay my head on my mother's lap knowing this world could be a better place or when a child embraces me. That's happiness for me or at least my gentle persuasion of happiness..
If you are in pursuit of happiness, please drink up a lot of cough syrup (preferably with high volume of alcohol) and reminisce about something which never was. I guarantee a happier you. 
xoxo

So Humor Me!

After some peaceful days spent out of town, I'm again forced to sit down and think, think about things which aren't worth spending time on but the tragedy of life is or has been that I waste much time thinking about the past. Even the present isn't idyllic but I shouldn't complain knowing it could have been much worse.
So what I do to answer these tiresome questions which I never dared to ask? I find a perfect corner and sunk myself with wittiness with the help of a lot of caffeine.
Humor me? I 'd think so..Many find my sense of humor hurtful and others find it childish but that's how I cope with situation, humor is my armor..and for all of you out there, bear with me, I heard humor is tragedy plus time. As Abe Burrows says "Someone once defined humor as a way to keep from killing yourself. I keep my sense of humor and I stay alive." 
xoxo

Boxed In Man..

The first time she saw him, he was wearing a brown polo-neck shirt which was hugging his defined proportiante body and the dark blue skinny denims which made him stand out in the crowd. She came outside the building and saw him coming out of his car. His back was facing her, he gently turned around..perhaps he was searching the crowd in search of another person but his gaze struck and locked on to her.. He looks at her and smiles hesitantly, standing quietly and searching for words, words that initiate something special between them.
That very second they both had something in common, they both lacked words to break the silence and felt rushed. When nothing else made sense, they started walking towards each other.
When walking towards him, she was taking small steps, trying not to stumbble. His eyes were glued on to her, ocasionally taking a quick glance at her forhead and hair line but without loosing much time locking his eyes back with hers.
Few steps taken towards him was the longest distance she had come across. Though these few steps had changed something, he got distracted as she was coming nearer, his eyes were no longer locked with hers instead his eyes were once at her cheeks and the next second checking the surroundings. Her eyes followed his eyes, she takes a look at everthing he took a glance of, thinking if someone he knew had entered the scene or that person who is was searching has finally arrived.
Turning their heads from east to west and west to the northeast. After much speculation she knew what was disturbing him. It was the air blowing her hair on her face. His worried eyes were envying the air which was breaking their eye contact. She had to think quick to get back his attention and finally she saw the black elastic band on her wrist, without wasting any time she wore her hair up using that black elastic band and there it was, that smile which proudly showed off the indentations on his cheeks.
His right cheek had a deeper dimple than the left one. Much to her luck, this time his eyes were smiling along with his lips. His big dark shinny eyes had started to make conversation, the kind that she never understood. His eyes were conveying unknown indications. There was something about his eyes which she failed to understand, his eyes were convincing yet provocative.
His lips lacked words but his eyes had much more to suggest. she takes a deep breath and looks up in the sky, she smiles wisely, rising her right eyebrow, suppressing her smile. She points towards the sky. The clouds were gathering and the wind was getting stronger.
She takes the initiative to break the silence and says "I think its about to rain" following by a smile. He answers "Sooo..what do you suggest"..brushing off her top, looking at her flat white sandals then kicking the small stone in front, she replys "You wont have an umbrella would you?". "No" he sighed "I'm not from around here, I was hoping for a sunny day". ¨
She knots her head, turns around and leaves the scene..He stood there..watching her walk towards the building, the very moment he promised himself that this wont just end here, this can't be the ending, I have a long way to go but next time with an umbrella and her on my side.

12 years later...

Inside a cozy 4 bedroom apartment, he sits on his uncomfortable black leather sofa, finishing his pending excel sheets. He steals a sneak peak away from his laptop and looks outside the window. It was Autumn. The reddish leaves scattered at the front yard across the road always made him fall in love with this weather. He puts his laptop next to him and looks across the room. There she was, sitting on the sofa, sipping on chai. She looks at his face and there they were those smiley mysterious eyes, those eyes which said too much but never transformed the conversation into an understandable yet laudable words. She knew all along he was one boxed in man, never saying what she deserve to hear. All this time they shared a toned down white noise.
She smiles with relief and looks outside the window. "It's about to rain" She suggested. He sighed then adds "So I see, oh well I have an umbrella, lets go for a walk".

When Life Looses its Meanings

 What happens when life looses its meanings? Most of us sit around and smoke our lives away whilst others drink till they can't differentiate between day and night. We comfort ourselves with tons of self pity and pretend nothing is wrong but what we really need is a slap on a face and need to give ourselves self respect.
On this note I can't stop but sharing some words of Rumi " You think you are alive because you breath air? Shame on you, that you are alive in such a limited way."
I thought of writing about this topic since I felt so much depression around me, so much negativity, so many beautiful people unhappy with their lives, some are even turning suicidal..ugh..Only if they knew their lives isn't only their's it belongs to everyone else who once were (or are) part of their lives. I hope some of  my psychotic friends read this since it is intended for their reading. Please put your insanity aside and get out of self pity, start respecting your individuality and free yourself from hallusinations. 
It was never promised that we will achieve all what we have dreamt of in this very life. Some wishes are meant to stay unfulfilled and the sooner we understand this fact the sooner we can break through our egos. Our problem is that we are the prisoners of our egos, we know what's good for us but despite of that our egocentric nature makes us its prisoners. Despite of our miscarried self fullfiling prophecies, we fail to break through our egos and except life the way it is.
I'm not a shrink nor some philosopher, I write what I feel, some from experience and most from feelings. Please stop runing after those things which aren't meant for you. There is one thing that I learnt brutally from life and that is we need to leave some decissions up to god, do your best to achieve them but don't turn psychotic about it just try your best in your normal state and if it doesn't turn out the way we want then let the god be the decission maker with the trust that he would decide for your best. Not many of us trust in his decission but why do we forget that he created us then why wouldn't he want the best for us. We are so egoistic that we can't accept our defeat we don't like to take on that, things can't always be the way we planned, why do we forget, this is not our game we are only the players, the one runing the show is up there watching our moves.
Not sure if there is much we can debate about. Either you ACCEPT that you can't have what you want and be happy with what you already have OR waste your life dreaming about what you could have had but can't..
Wake up call..
xoxo